is it really true what they say?
will you still be there,
when it all comes crashing?
gazing at the night sky,
the stars are nice to watch
& I've learn so much from them.
the stars. they smile.
this is just for you.
and only you.
and i hope it will stay this way.
the night life.
10th post. wow thats little.
anyway i just wanna say that no matter what, i'll be here with you. after my exams, i wont have much rest. not much separation from my books. cause i want u to do well. and i'll help u achieve what u want to. because i love you.
somethings are better left unsaid. but i gotta say this: although i dont trust u fully. i still love u loads. its really difficult hanging on to this r/s. but... i really hope it pays off. if it doesnt, all i gotta say is im sorry. i tried my best. if it wont turn out the way i want, i'll give up. i already promise THEM i'll give it my all one more time. if it doesnt work, i'll pull away. u said u wanted me to be happy. but i havent been through a day without tears since HE left. show me. dont tell me. prove to me, that u are the one who brings me happiness.
iloveyou. xoxo.
just if you're happy.
the night life.
fuck.
just if you're happy.
the night life.
okay. i think im really retarded to post here. but maybe u can use ur phone to view it. i dont know if you will. ahh wells. mug hard for prelims and olevels okay?
no matter what, i'll always be here for you. just try your best and no matter what the results, you know you did your best and thats what matters(:
iloveyoudarling. alwaysandforever.
xoxo. -yt. i will never say my life sucks. cause you're part of my life. hugs.and.kisses. PS:iloveyou.
just if you're happy.
the night life.
again, i wonder if i made the right choice. i hope i made you smile. at least on the inside. just a little and it'll all be worthed it.
just if you're happy.
the night life.
utterly disappointed. i kept believing. cause i thought you haven't changed. all those words we said. nevermind. i guess i saw for myself how things are. well, you already advertise her to all your friends right? so aren't things obvious? and you still dare to tell me 'not really'. yeah whatever shit. hmm all i can say now is your acting is superb and that my friends don't need to hear a thing from me to hate you. thanks for that anyway.
the first emotion i felt was jealousy. the last emotion i felt was jealousy. there's nothing in between. and now, i'm numb.
yup. you said you didn't want to be like him. you didnt. you're worst.
yeah whatever. at least i took so much lesser time to get over him. being so screwed up now. getting 'scolded' by them. cause after all these i still love you. yeah whatever.
if you're reading this, i give you two my blessing. treat her well and treat her right. maybe she's the one for you.
tears. disregard for them.
just if you're happy.
the night life.
confused. really i am.
just if you're happy.
the night life.
i was hopeful. i pinned my hopes. i really thought things were finally getting better. and that it was going to stay that way. i dont know. i was wrong. you know what's the best thing? i had a nightmare the night before. it was about you. and my nightmare became reality. yes i had a sixth sense that THIS would happen. and im still hating myself. for not trusting my nightmare. for not trusting my sixth sense. and instead, trusting you. i had brushed off the nightmare, thinking 'no he would never do such a thing again.' and look what happened. and funnily, i dont even hate you. i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to forget you. or to get over you. and up till this very moment, i still think you're the one for me. yes say im dumb. say im stupid. but you dont have to hate me for that, cause im doing that job for you. i really thought this blog would become a happy one. filled with love letters and not this. yeah, dream on right? there i was at your fire escape. when i received your sms, i didnt feel angry. nor hatred. nor revengeful. just pure disappointment. not in you. in myself. they tell me to give you up. find a nicer, better guy. i cant. im sorry. all im trying to do now is to get you out of my mind. edwin asked me what is it do i see in you. and i couldnt answer him. i couldnt. last time, the immediate reaction is 'please lorh, he's like the nicest guy. the best boyfriend.' and now? i dont know what to say. a friend can AUTOMATICALLY follow me up the bus, with the intention of sending me home. and you. you. i have nothing to say.
you said you care. you said you still love me. you said you want me back. but look what happened. not even bothering to reply my messages. thanks.
my heart's still with you. no matter how much i want it back. i want to see the old you. oh fuck, that will never happen. RIGHT?
